Covert or Emotional Incest:
(Non-sexual but gender related inappropriate usury of family members to meet unmet needs or to medicate shame)
- Silently Seduced (Adams)
- The Emotional Incest Syndrome (Love)
- Facing Love Addiction (Mellody)
- Trapped in the Mirror (Golomb)
- [I found this book to be very helpful to me, BTW.]
- (Also note links to online information in this blog post)
- The Wounded Heart (Allender) [Note: This is a Christian book!]
Family Dysfunction and Healthy Parenting
- Children of Trauma, Rediscovering Your Discarded Self (Middelton – Moz)
- Adult Children, The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families (Friel & Friel)
- Compelled to Control (Miller) [I also listed this as a shame resource in the previous blog post.]
- Toxic Parents (Forward)
- Emotional Blackmail (Forward)
- Always Daddy's Girl (Wright)
Audio Presentation: "From Shame to Glory"
by Kathryn Chamberlin, LCSW-C
Kathryn attends the Fourth Presbyterian Church in Bethesda, Maryland, a church that is a member of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church denomination, following the Westminster Confession of Faith and the Heidelberg Catechism.
As you are free to note on her webpage, she holds a nursing degree from University of Virginia, a Master's Degree in Social Work from The Catholic University and certification in Biblical Counseling. She practices Christian counseling with the Bethesda Counseling Group, offering services to those in the Baltimore-DC Metro area.
Kathryn's presentation, “From Shame to Glory” is perhaps the best place to start a journey out of shame and into the liberty that is afforded to all believers in Christ Jesus. She has several other audio resources available, and I would also recommend considering these additional presentations as well:
- **From Shame To Glory**
- Shame versus Worth
- The Approval Addict
- The Performance Trap
- Hurt Trail to Idolatry
- The Door Metaphor
Best Codependency Book: "Love is a Choice"
Hemfelt, Minirth and Meier's book on codependency examines the problem of persistent shame in the Christian's life. Christ saves us from the shame of sin and restores us, but for those of us who have been raised in families that were lacking the support we desperately needed, we tend to get stuck in patterns of shame that can prevent us from fully embracing the fullness of our forgiveness and liberty in Christ. Their ten step program teaches about how we can get caught up in repetitive patterns of shame and how we can be liberated from shame.
** There is also a companion workbook, if you find that such resources have been helpful to you in the past, but it is not necessary to glean wisdom from the message in the book.
If you find yourself very compelled by “Love is a Choice,” finding the message of that book more relevant to your needs and interests, I would consider reading some secular material concerning shame. Though any book on the subject of shame or codependency as it was once popularly called would be appropriate, I find that these titles have been very good. These have all been time honored and standards in the area of overcoming shame.
- "Facing Codependence" and the companion workbook “Breaking Free” (Mellody)
- "Codependent No More" & "Beyond Codependency " (Beattie)
- "Compelled to Control" (Miller)
If you find that ,you are still uncomfortable with a secular message and Kathryn's message holds more value for you, I would consider these following Christian titles first.
- "Hiding from Love" (Townsend)
- "Boundaries" and companion workbook (Townsend and Cloud)
- "The Healing Path" and and companion workbook (Allender)
- Meditation to help recovery from shame from the National Association for Christian Recovery
Free Resources from
The National Association for Christian Recovery:
- Recovery From Shame article and worksheet
- Free library of articles from back issues of STEPS magazine.
Devotionals for Christians in Recovery: